Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
