I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
