Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
