I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
