What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
