then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize