google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My ass is underappreciated
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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