guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
