How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
