Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
