My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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