so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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