your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
