you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
