I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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