It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I want is dick and wine.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
