You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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