she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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