Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
