is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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