I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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