oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize