Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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