why didn't you poke me back
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
