The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
