Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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