Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we made out on top of his cat.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
