Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
