I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
