just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She even gives head with a lisp.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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