I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
