just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
