I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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