are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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