VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
