dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
