I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
