it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
