I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
