entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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