ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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