I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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