so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
