New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize