Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
