Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
