I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
