The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
