just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
