We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
