32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
