she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
