Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize