He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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