My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
