So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
