This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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