There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
