i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize