I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
