You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
