I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
