This girl is more easily done than said...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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