Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
